Sunday, 11 February 2018

The Two Faces Of Temperance by Ichabod Temperance + Excerpt + Giveaway


The Two Faces Of Temperance by Ichabod Temperance
(The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance, Book 10) 
Published in America by Golden Bear Creative Works in October 2016.

Literary Flits Spotlight Giveaway Winner

Where to buy this book:



"Oh, my Goodness, Miss Plumtartt, there is a fiendish monster at loose in London!”

“Quite so, Mr. Temperance. I say, the villain has the Great City in an uproar, sir.”

“Yes, Ma’am, Miss Plumtartt, Ma’am, there is murder at our elbow, wherever we turn.”

“The machinations of intrigue threaten to crush us in their merciless gears, eh hem? Yes, One suspects that this adventure may come to be known as ‘The Strange Case of Dr. Icky and Mr. Temperance.”

* A Request by the Author:
Dear Reader, if, perchance, you should come across some drunken rogues in song whilst reading this book, you are strongly encouraged to sing these passages aloud. 
Your cooperation in this matter is sincerely appreciated.
~Icky.


Meet The Author:
Howdy Folks, it's Ichabod.
Once upon a time, Miss Plumtartt and I thought we would have a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde adventure. I am only familiar with the story through film and television, so I thought I should go back and read the original by Robert Louis Stevenson. This I did and am sorry to report that I did not care for it. This was a shock because i enjoyed 'Treasure island', and 'Kidnapped', also by RLS when I was young. Well, 'Kidnapped' wasn't really that good, but gosh, I am sure I read 'Treasure Island' many times when I was eleven and twelve. I went back and read it again. It was fantastic! 'Treasure Island' still stands up. That was when I realized how I was going to write 'The Two Faces of Temperance'. On the surface, it is the story of Jekyll and Hyde, but secretly, beneath the surface, it is the story of 'Treasure Island'. I have a silly way of writing that not everyone cares for, but I highly recommend 'Treasure Island' for young-minded readers of all ages.
Happy reading!

Standing over five feet, seven inches and weighing in at better than one hundred and thirty pounds, Ichabod Temperance is ‘The Alfalfa Male.’ After lengthy music, karate, and pro-wrestling careers, Ichabod’s involvment with movie stuntwork has led him to write these whimsical, steam-driven adventures. Mr. Temperance and his lovely muse, Miss Persephone Plumtartt, live in Irondale, Alabama, USA, along with their furry pack family.

Author Links
Website ~ Facebook ~ Twitter ~ Goodreads

Excerpt


The further I stray from the theater, the more I despair of finding my Ichabod. These lonely cobbled streets echo with my frantic footfalls.

What on Earth can be occurring with Ichabod? He is certainly not himself. I cannot for the life of me imagine his having a part in destroying London Bridge, but his behaviour and soiled suit indicate otherwise.

His work at the Cheapside studio must be associated with these transformative outbursts. Despite his assurances otherwise, I am sure Professor Diddlefudde is...

Hello, what’s this? I perceive a shadowy figure, surreptitiously flitting from one darkened doorway to another behind me. This is a lonely stretch of road. There is still enough distance between us that I have a chance of gaining the security of a public house before this midnight assassin takes me in his grasp.

Nonsense. This would be an unforgivable waste of valuable intelligence.

"Yoo, hoo", I say, "hello there my nocturnal companion. There is no need to skulk about, for I am fully aware of your attempted stealthy observation and clandestine pursuit. Please come forth that we may converse as civilized peoples, eh hem?”

“Eh, no, missus, you see, I saw where you dropped an ear-ring. I was just trying to return it, see?”

“Commendable, but improbable.”

“No, really, here it is Miss Plumtartt.”

“Ah, one sees. You know my name, eh? Very well, then, my suspicions appear proven valid. My conjecture is that you are a midnight murderer; hitman for hire; solicited slayer. In short, my commissioned Kendleworth killer, you are an unscrupulous assassin and I your target of assignation.”

“You’re a smart cookie, Miss Plumtartt. I admire you. Here, I’d like to shake your hand.”

“Yes, quite, and I’d like to take that dagger you hide behind your back and stick it... woah! I say, you are devilishly fast with that blade, Mr.?...”

“Don’t you worry about my name none, you won’t have long to remember it. Yah! Ee-yaw! Yah!”

“Dear me, and here I thought you were a professional. You’ll never get me with those wild slashes, dear fellow. You must learn to enjoin a few stabbing thrusts on occasion as well. That’s it! Hah! Just so, for now I am able to catch and trap your weapon whilst simultaneously forcing you to drop the knife as I twist the excruciatingly painful wrist manipulation into a modified Chinese Puzzle Lock that I just invented.”

“Yarrr!”

“Now then, my mollified mugger, who sent you?”

“Belay your battery, lass, I heave to! You’re breaking my arm!”

“I demand to know the name of your employ-Oh!”

“Got ye’!”

“Oh, I say, I wasn’t prepared for that spring-loaded dagger up your sleeve. Though enough to gain freedom from my grip, that unworthy strike will not be enough to do one such as I.”

“Yeah, I just grazed you, that time, Missy. This time will be for keeps.”

“I daresay you’ll spend time in a keep.”

“Yah! Ee-yaw! Yah! Stand still, will you? You’re just making this harder on your...gulk!”

“I say, my old ‘Gung Foo’ training asserts itself, of itself, eh hem? I trust that the ‘Blooming Lilly’ spin kick to your gaping gorm was to your liking, eh hem?”

“Die, you horrible woman! Yah!”

And with this last blow I am able to throw my would-be executioner over my shoulder whilst securing a safe ‘Monkey Bar’ arm lock.

“Ow-wow-wow-wow-ow! Arr! I surrender! I strike me colours!”

“Be warned, my not-so-good man, this is my final entreaty. Who has sent you on this errand of eradication?”

“Ow! Let me go!”

“Names! Tell...” ~phssst!~ “Oh!” ~cough~ “Oh, dear!” ~cough~ “I say, I am engulfed in a choking, blinding, ball of smoke. These noxious fumes forced upon me are an unmanly maneuver.” ~cough,cough~ “Oh, drat, my prisoner has escaped!”

Hello, what’s this? My assassau’tour has dropped something. It must have occurred when I sent him flying with my Gung Foo ‘Elephant on a See-Saw’ maneuver. It is a small, dark leather bag. I think this item is very old. It is a tobacco pouch. The contents confirm this. This is not a domestic variety of leaf. By the smell, I place this product as coming from the Gulf of Mexico region. This suspicion is confirmed by the cut of the leather and sewing style. I am relatively confident this is a style often associated with the Carri-bean. I believe the artwork was added later. I think this done in the Portuguese style of engraving. Ah, and now I detect a pair of initials, ‘A.S.’ Well, Mr. ‘A.S.’, This clue, when coupled with my impression of your speech patterns make me think you are a rogue man of the sea. Very well, matey, until we meet again. At such time, however, I go now to inspect and dress the wound you have inflicted. I shall not be caught unprepared again.

And now it's time for the Giveaway!


Open internationally until the 4th March, the prize is a Signed Copy of The Two Faces Of Temperance which will be sent out directly to the winner by the author. Entry is by way of the Gleam widget below.
Good luck!

Signed book - The Two Faces of Temperance by Ichabod Temperance


Search Lit Flits for more:
Books by Ichabod Temperance / Steampunk fiction / Books from America

5 comments:

  1. Oh my Goodness, thank you for hosting this spotlight, Stephanie Jane! Good luck to your lovely readers! Happy Reading!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Mr. Davis!
    This gentleman is kind enough to pick up my books now and again when I have them discounted. He actually reads them and leaves kind reviews! Thanks, sir! Good luck in winning a paperback, buddy!
    Happy Reading!
    Your pal,
    ~Icky. :-)

    ReplyDelete